Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
