We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
