WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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