Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
