bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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