We won't sleep together?
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
