You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
