He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
