She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
try to milk me bitch
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