Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
