he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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