dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
that's an acceptable place to lick
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
