And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
