i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
my poor anus
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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