You kept calling me your small dog last night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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