Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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