the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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