how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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