I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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