A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
