Its about making memories worth repressing
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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