I hope mine doesn't look like that
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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