woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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