I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
