At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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