need another drink. this is the easiest way
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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