I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
