he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
