How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
