Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
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