Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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