I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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