5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
