well I can't set my house on fire every night
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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