Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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