i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
