So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
