Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
