dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
