You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
