I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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