woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
why do cheetos always look like penises
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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