The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You ate ashes out of my bong
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