Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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