i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
