Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
worst night to have a conscience
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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