everyone is single if you try hard enough
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
