There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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