Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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