i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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