Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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