Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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