How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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