every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
