well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Randomize