The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
