me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
