what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
