We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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