it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
should my penis look like a turkey
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
