Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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