Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
