I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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