I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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