Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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