so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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