she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
