why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
