Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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