BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
