i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
There are leaves in my underwear?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
