; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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