Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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