Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I feel like abortions should bother me more
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
